I just got my website reviewed for free from http://reviewmywebsite.wordpress.com I’m going to try and do what he said now.
(I recommend you use this too if you have a website or blog 🙂 )
10. Customer Support
You would have though that Google, being the internet giant it is, would have an Email address. Apparently Not. I can’t find a single Email address any where on the site.
9. Personal Results
Google record your searches and put results most relevant to you first. Eg: You have recently obtained a Dog. You have used Google to search a lot about Training tips and Health tips about your dog. You then search: Strange spots on my back, a personal problem, and you get results talking about spots on dogs.
8. The Help Forum
Unless you have 2 years to wait for a response, give up.
Google+, Gmail, YouTube. They know every single little thing about you.
6. Linking Google with YouTube
If you have two Google accounts, and your YouTube account is linked to the wrong one, your stuffed. It’s virtually impossible to unlink your accounts.
The above reason is so big to me, it’s going to be numbers 1-6. If anyone has a solution to it, please comment. I have tried the ‘Unlink’ link but my account is permanently linked. Who wouldda thought it would be so hard to unlink accounts?!?!
10. Greet everyone who comes into the lift
“Hello, Welcome to my lift!”
9. Press the highest number just before the lift stops
When you are in the lift, push the highest number just before the doors open, then when someone comes in, you will go to the top floor, and stay in the lift, then it will go to the other persons floor.
8. Push all the buttons in the lift before you exit
Just to annoy other people
7. Pass Wind
Release some gas from your backside then sniff, and ask people if it was them
6. Get out and back in
Get out the lift, and just before the doors close fully push the button and the door will open, then get back in the lift. It will confuse people in the lift
5. Tell someone the wrong floor
When you enter the lift and someone asks you what floor you need, say the number above the highest number, EG: The top floor is 5, you say floor 6) Then when they tell you there isn’t a floor 6, act confused and be a little worried.
4. Swap lifts
If there is two lifts on the same floor, get out of one and quickly get in the other one, and go to the same floor as the people in the other lift are going to, (Look which number is glowing before you exit the first lift). Then get out of the lift and walk off. Time it right and the people in the other lift exit the lift just before you exit, and they will be confused.
3. Use the emergency services code.
I think if you hold the doors close button and push and hold the floor you want for 2 seconds you will go to the floor you want first (I think). This is good if you have a team of people who do it so the people in the lift never get to their floor.
2. The alarm button.
If you hear a noise, act very worried and ask if you should press the alarm button in the lift, it will worry everyone else!
Be very worried when you enter the lift and keep asking everyone if the lift has stopped or if it has broken down.
10. I’ve got the Dentist
An easy one, so long as they don’t phone the dentist, or tell you to reschedule it.
9. My Dog is going to the vet…
Make sure you do actually have a dog when using this excuse, and tell them you have to pay £20 to change the appointment if your work tells you to change it. It’s a win-win situation. You either get the afternoon off, or you scam your employer for £20!
8. My Wife is about to give birth!
Make sure you have a wife, and that she is not aged over 50. ‘Bur Mr Johnson, your wife is 55 and still having kids?’ , Also don’t use this more than once! ‘Mr Johnson, Your 55-year-old wife seems to be having a child every friday afternoon’
7. I’ve finished my work
You’ve done all you can do for the week. Anything you start now will have to be left over the weekend, so you might as well just leave early. In reality, you actually finished your work on Thursday morning, but spend Thursday and Friday tweaking it untill you finished at Friday Lunch time!
6. Fall down the stairs
Train as a stunt man for a few months, then fall down the stairs and tell the company you will no sue them if you get the red of the day off. It’s a sure winner!
5. I need to pick the kids up from school
Again, make sure you have a Partner or wife that you have kids with, or could have kids with.
4. My Wife has just been in a car crash and I need to go to the hospital.
Just make sure your wife isn’t picking you up from work. ‘Mr Johnson is this the wife that has just been in a car crash, or was that the other wife’. That could turn out with you in hospital. On second thoughts, don’t use this one…
3. I need to get to my world tour!
You have a secret music life in another country, and you don’t want anyone to know, but you have to leave early to get on the plane to the country so you can continue with your tour!
Offer your employer a ticket and he /she is bound to let you go because they can come too!!
1. I’ve worked 42 hours this week and I’m very tired!
Who knows, you might get the last 3 hours off…
10. The game player
This person is constantly playing games and posting their successes on the news feed. They are a mile a head of everyone else on the leader board, mainly because everyone stopped playing it a few years ago.
9. The Events organiser
They make events for everything. ‘You are invited to the event ‘Christmas”. Why do you invite me to Christmas? Do i have to accept your invite before i am allowed to celebrate Christmas?
8. The picture person
When you go out with this person, they will have a camera. They will upload all pictures they take, then tag you in each one. They then will upload pictures of their family holiday, which everyone finds enjoyable to look at…
7. The undercover agent
This person cannot reveal their face. They will use pictures of their children because we are supposed to think its ‘cute’. Most people will be slightly worried when they see a picture of a 3-year-old saying ‘Had a good time at yours yesterday’. They also use pictures of cartoon characters because they think they can transform into a car, or fly.
6. The moaner
They constantly moan about everything. ‘ I hate my life’, ‘This restaurant takes too long to serve, I’ve been waiting 5 minutes already’, ‘When will you grow up?’. Get the idea?
5. The person who knows no names
Usually girls with relationship problems, eg: ‘You might think you are hurting me, but I will not crack and i will stay strong xoxox’. Yes love, how about you tell the person, because more than likely the person who you are talking about probably doesn’t have Facebook.
4. The addict
If you need to get hold of this person, look on Facebook. They are usually always on it and will respond to a Facebook chat within seconds. That’s fine, till they start talking to you every time you log on.
3. The page liker
‘[Name] likes ‘I hate people who like lots of pages’ ‘[Name] likes ‘LIKE THIS PAGE TO SEE AN EPIC FAIL’ ‘[Name] likes ‘95% of people don’t know if this is a girl or boy’.
2. The silent surfer
They just scroll down the news feed reading it all the time. No harm done… untill you meet the person and your entire Facebook status’ for the last 3 weeks are recalled from the top of their head.
1. The popular person
Is it really possible to have 4354 friends?
A really expensive, posh car, and someone to drive it for you!
9. A Private Jet
Your own private jet that allows you to fly where ever you like when ever you like
8. A Boat
A luxurious Yacht or boat where you can just sit back and relax
7. A Pilots licence
You have the money so why not study for a pilots licence, then take to the skies!
6. A small aircraft
So you can fly around yourself.
5. A helicopter licence and a helicopter
Take your family and friends up for a sightseeing trip over your area
4. A Private Island
Hold parties with all your celeb friends and family.
3. A mansion
Just to get people to realise you are a millionaire.
2. A charity
Use some of your money in a way that can change people’s lives for ever
You can’t buy a family, and this is one of the best thing anyone can own. Just so you can tell them ‘I told you so‘!
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